That's more than unlucky!

Given the bum's rush?

A Nepalese man died three days after marrying a dog – in the hope that it would bring him good luck. The wedding was attended by the man's son and a number of other relatives.

The 75 year-old man, from Durgauli in the Kailali district of Nepal, was reportedly following a practice prevalent in the Tharu community which believes that an elderly man who re-grows his teeth must take a dog as a bride.

A local newspaper published the following observation: "He thought the marriage would avert a great misfortune at a later stage of life but he died within a few days."

In 1992, a guest of a South Carolina wedding party was killed when he was struck by the bride and groom's aircraft as he mooned at them from the runway.

Don't panic! (well, not much)

A cemetery in Santiago, Chile, offered its clients coffins with a sensor that detects any movement inside them after they have been buried.

According to cemetery officials, the purpose of the censor is to prevent anyone being buried alive.

A spokesperson for the cemetery said: "We want to be pioneers and avoid catalepsy cases, in which a person gets completely paralysed for a few hours and ends up buried as if they were dead.  We want families to rest assured that if a case like this ever happens their loved ones will be immediately rescued."

Lucky

Decoffinated?

Guide dog Lucky, so named because of his repeated escapes from close scrapes seems to have had it in for his owners-he guided four of them to their deaths. "Lucky led his first owner in front of a bus, and his second off the end of a pier" said Ernst Gerber, who was retraining the Alsation in Wuppertal, Germany. "He actually pushed his third owner off the platform just as the Cologne to Frankfurt Express was approaching, and he walked his fourth owner into heavy traffic, before abandoning him and running away to safety." But Gerber explained "Basically Lucky is a damn good guide dog. He just needs to brush up on some elementary skills. Apart from the epileptic fits, he has a lovely temperament." Gerber was planning to match Lucky to his fifth blind owner when retraining was finished but was not planning to tell them about the dog's past. "It would make them nervous, and that would make Lucky nervous," he said.

The instant coffee a group of friends drank as they tried to sober up after a night out on the tiles tasted a bit odd.

Soon after, they found out why – when one of their companions told them: 'That was no coffee……that was my grandfather's ashes'.

They had assumed a tin full of grainy substance of the mantelpiece at Jakub Havlat's cottage in the Czech Republic was coffee. But Jakub said: 'My grandfather had a great sense of humour, so he's probably laughing now'.

Smoker runs out of puff at 105

A woman who defied medical logic by living to 105 despite smoking 15 cigarettes a day was laid to rest clutching a packet of her favourite brand. She had been a smoker from the age of 15.

A wreath shaped like a cigarette was placed on her coffin and fellow residents at her nursing home in Westgate, Kent sang along to Smoke Gets In Your Eyes at the funeral. She was cremated.

Nursing home staff are planning to remember her by building a large concrete ashtray in the garden of her nursing home.The matron said: 'We all remember her for smoking, so we are getting a concrete ashtray in the garden for staff to use and think about her.'

First Finality Bank

They never forget, y'know...

Here is the curious story of five skydiving Elvis impersonators.

Apparently they were blown off course whilst trying to land in the car park of a nightclub in Boston, Massachusettes during the opening celebrations. Unfortunately, one 'skydiving Elvis' was killed during the incident. With a rare talent for a memorable phrase, John McNulty of the Boston Police was heard to say: "Elvis hit town...he just hit it a bit too hard!"

Mitch Levinson, 36, lives in Essex. He didn't have a ghost of a chance when his bank decided he'd gone to meet his maker. The bank had frozen his account in the belief he was dead - leaving a trail of unpaid bills and bounced cheques.

When he first contacted the bank, he was unable to convince them he was alive and well...it took several scathing letters and many weeks passed before the bank finally admitted their mistake.

Just before Christmas The Sun published a story under the headline 'Dung to Death'. It told of a zoo keeper at Paderborn Zoo in Germany who had drowned in elephant dung after giving the animal 22 packs of laxatives. Strangely, the zoo keeper then stood behind the por animal to see if the 'experiment' had worked!